Bringing Up Bella Eveline

About 3 weeks ago, my maternity leave ended..  Eeeek !

I had such grand plans for what I was going to do with all my “free time” during those 3 long months off.  Since Keith can work remotely from anywhere, I told him I thought we should spend 1 month in the Keys with our boat and 1 month in the mountains of North Carolina with my dad/stepmother (live there permanently) and my mom/stepfather (summer there).  HAHAHAHA !!!  Apparently no one informed me that none of that is really compatible with a newborn..  Especially a newborn that cries unless she is sleeping. 

So, I made the best of it and became a “crappy tv aficionado”.  I spent countless hours in our house, on the couch, and walking the neighborhood with Bella.  We became BEYOND close and I loved every last-minute… But, the problem is that as soon as I considered her “easy”, those DARN 3 months were almost up.  I was home for the HARD part, the NO SLEEPING PART.  But, now that she is a party girl, going to dinner and for visits to people’s houses, I have to return to the world of the working.  I really think I should lobby for maternity leave to be month 1 and then months 5 and 6.  THE BEST of both worlds, I would think.

But, what I was least prepared for was the separation issues I was going to have as part of going back to work and also how my priorities would have changed.  I am the consummate professional.  The working woman.  The ladder climber.  But, when the day came and I had to put makeup on, blow dry my hair and wear real clothing and go back to my work life, I could do nothing but cry.  That little person who was staring at me with innocent, beautiful eyes has changed my life and my priorities forever.  Now, each day I am excited when our nanny sends me a video of something Bella does.  I long for the text with pictures of her smiling, sitting on her daddy’s lap.  We even do FaceTime, so I can hear her giggle (well, that’s what we call our 3.5 month old’s squeals!!). 

When our nanny told me that Bella rolled over earlier last month, I was ecstatic !  But, then a quick sadness washed over me that I missed that tiny little milestone in her life.  I know I can’t be there for everything, but these early “firsts” are hard to miss. 

I am thrilled that my company allows me to work from home every now and then.  It really helps.  Especially since I have enrolled Bella in Mommy Boot Camp, because I don’t want to miss the next Rollover !