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Nighttime and Daytime Clothing. And Smothering.

November 4, 2011 by jbrafman

I look at myself as a very doting, loving extremely neat and clean mother.  I actually brag that I think my daughter has the cleanest booty in Broward County.  And I love making Bella look adorable at all times, dressing and undressing her several times during the day – cue the OUTFIT CHANGE!  Not just for pictures, mind you, there could be a very good reason.  Like throw up.  No girl wants to hang out in a onesie with vomit on it.  Trust me.  No matter what your age.

Daytime Clothing

That brings me to the “ease of clothing change” factor.  No one told me that the best outfits for infants are ones with snaps.  And lots of them!  Top to bottom, back to front.  That way you can open the whole outfit up, lay baby on top of it and then snap her into it, rather than having to SHOVE her into it.  Invariably, being snap-challenged, I get all the way to the top or bottom and realize I missed one along the way and I have to start all over again!  Another thing I learned is that footed outfits are great for newborns.  Nothing like having to chase a sock around the house all day.  Socks NEVER stay on babies.  Unless you get the 80s retro tube-sock kind that we put on Bella.  Yeah, she looked cool!  Maybe there is a million dollar invention waiting to be discovered in there somewhere, but in the meantime, I used the footed outfits most of the time.

Anyway, I digress.  Bella is 4+ months old now, so she has both “daytime” and nighttime” outfits.  And believe it or not, they ARE different.  Our nanny was not happy that I was leaving Bella in her pajamas all day.  She felt that she should be properly DRESSED during the day.  Daytime mostly consists of “real” clothing like dresses, tank tops, jeans, t-shirts.  And nighttime is still footy pajamas!  CUTE footy pajamas! 

However, the clothing that emulates “real” clothing often doesn’t have a lot of my beloved snaps.  Every morning when I try to dress Bella, I have to pull some kind of clothing over her head.  And every morning, on cue, she screams at the top of her lungs.  It starts as a low squeal and if I cannot get her hands through the armholes fast enough, she ends up howling like a wolf.  I find each day I treat it like a self-test to see how fast I can dress her to avoid the tantrum.  Keith can clearly hear the “Bella’s getting dressed” time from across the house.  It’s very strange.  I have no idea what gets her so upset.  I know she trusts me, she definitely can breathe, she even looks pretty darn ADORABLE when I am done.  So, I am left to wonder, does she hate the daytime clothing or does she think I am trying to smother her ?

Posted in Bella-isms, Rookie Behavior, Tools of the Trade | 2 Comments »

Boo! So much for Halloween..

November 1, 2011 by jbrafman

The cutest monkey EVER!

I have to tell you, I was SO excited at the thought of experiencing every “holiday” with Bella this first year, even the ones that we consider to be more the Hallmark variety.  You know the ones – Halloween, Valentines, St. Patrick’s Day.  They would all be so remarkably different from previous years, seen through some fresh perspective and the eyes of our innocent sponge, soaking it all up.   It’s very cute to see her absorbing the concepts of costumes or yummy smelling food in the kitchen (I made rice crispy treats for Keith for Halloween!) 

The company Keith and I work for LOVES Halloween.  Because our busy time is year-end, we take Halloween very seriously, parade and all!  So, this was OUR year.  Bella was going to dress up in her MONKEY costume and she was going to take 1st place in the parade.  Of course.  Hands Down!

However, this year, apparently Mother Nature had other plans.  It rained torrential downpours the entire night of October 30.  Lightning storms so fantastic, they woke me from a deep sleep.  By the time we started our day, close to 6 inches of rain had fallen and most of our local streets were flooded.  So much so, that they had things called “pump trucks” combing the neighborhood trying to suck the water off the streets.  They even asked people to stay off the roads, if not absolutely necessary.  I thought “maybe by 3pm, it would recede far enough to be able to pack my monkey in the car for the 30 minute trek west to my office for the parade.”  WRONG.  In fact, right around then, we were issued a flash flood warning and a tornado warning between here and there.  So, in an effort to avoid ending up in OZ with Dorothy, my monkey and I stayed HOME.

We did not, however, let the rains completely wash out Bella’s first Halloween.  Keith and I dressed our monkey and went next door to our neighbor’s house and then further down the street to our friend Barbara’s.  We HAD to show someone how cute our little trick-or-treater was!  We also took lots of pictures (surprised?) to remember this important first!  Unfortunately, there was NOT ONE SMILE!  Maybe the monkey suit was itchy.  Or hot.  Or just plain weird to her.  Maybe she wanted to be a Princess instead?  Whatever the case, we experienced it together as a family and loved every minute.  As for the company parade, there’s always next year!

Posted in Firsts | 1 Comment »

Bjorns and Slings and Pouches.. Oh My!

October 29, 2011 by jbrafman

Thrilled with the Bjorn, can't you tell ?

When I was registering for baby items, I was overwhelmed by the amount of choices that were out there.  Down to specially shaped Q-Tips for the baby’s ears?  Really?  To be honest, Keith and I came home from that first visit to the baby store with migraine headaches and had to lie down with iced washcloths on our heads.  Those stores will make your head spin!

As I went through my list of “must-haves” the topic of baby carriers came up.  Being naive, I asked “don’t you just hold them with your ARMS?”  Why would someone need a contraption to hold a child when you are born with two perfectly good ones?  Some of my girlfriends have purchased wacky ones with names I cannot even pronounce!  So, I succumbed to peer pressure and registered for a BabyBjorn, the fancy, lightweight/breathable one, in plain black.. so daddy could also wear it (probably when pigs fly).

 Now that Bella is here, however, I completely understand why you NEED these carriers.  There are so many times that you need your hands or you have to get something done, but your child wants to be nowhere but “ON” or “WITH” you.  Wouldn’t it be lovely if she would lie down quietly and take a little nappy or play with her dolly while you prepare dinner, but NO, not our angel.  Last night I found myself cleaning shrimp for dinner with Bella attached to the front of me.

Although we got the esteemed Bjorn, it was not always rosy actually using it.  In the beginning, when I was longing to get back to exercise, even if just walking, I would stick Bella in the carrier facing me and she would howl like a wolf.  Until she fell asleep.  Maybe it was the carrier, maybe it was the sun hat covering her face.  But either way, she was not a fan.  Needing something, I decided to purchase a “pouch”, thinking it was natural, fetal-position-ish, she’d love to be snuggled.  Not exactly sure WHOSE baby they measured the pouches for, or why they think an infant would enjoy being folded in half, but from the day it arrived at my house via UPS, I could not squeeze my tiny little lovey into it.  She acted like I was trying to smother her.  Out goes the pouch!  And even more recently, I was enticed by an advertisement on a designer retail website for THE BEST baby sling ever (so they say).  When IT arrived, I tried it and it actually seemed like something that would be useful.  I’m not sure where, but useful nonetheless.  As long as I ensured that Bella’s booty was secure and not falling through the bottom (as Keith noted on my first try)!  However, my “sling” makes me feel kind of granola.  Which I am not.  Clearly.  

 Now, we are full circle to yesterday, with take 2 of the Bjorn.  This time Bella faced forward, with the flaps folded BELOW her armpits.  Enough freedom to breathe and look around, but still secure to hold her bobblehead.  SHE LOVED IT.  We walked all around the neighborhood together and she even fell asleep.  I feel somewhat like a kangaroo, just not natural for me, but I guess this is what they mean by “taking one for the team.”  Apparently, the selection of carrier is completely personal preference – whatever works for you, whatever works for baby.  You have to be comfortable, but just know you WILL need SOMETHING.  It’s just a matter of which one.  If anyone is interested, I have several to spare.

Posted in Tools of the Trade | Leave a Comment »

How Much is Too Much?

October 26, 2011 by jbrafman

I LOVE PICTURES. Is anyone surprised by this ? Hardly. I have been accused in the past of being an over-sharer, but honestly I say “whatever.”

Hey Bella - Say CHEESE !

In this greatly expanded world, our friends and relatives are located across the United States and even on several different continents. Things like email and Facebook have really helped us stay in closer touch, even if there is no time to pick up the phone and make a call. I love how I can see real-time pictures from my mother, vacationing in Italy, within moments of her capturing them. It shrinks our vast world and binds us all a little closer together. Or at least I think so.

Now that Bella is in the picture, I feel compelled to capture every little moment of her life. I don’t want it to go by too quickly and lord knows I don’t want to miss a thing. Not a smile, a moment in the bath, a toe grab, a crawl. You get the picture. Literally. So, fairly regularly (OK, I admit EVERY MORNING), I send the “photo of the day” to our family members and also post it on Facebook. Cute outfits, cute poses, she’s just so darn CUTE! And I am not biased! It lets her grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins see how our newest addition is progressing.

But, the other day, I was wondering… although I could look at Bella 24/7/365 and take pictures and videos of her constantly, did everyone else feel the same? Or, perhaps were they having Bella-overload? Did they find the impulse to hit DELETE as soon as they saw an email or text from me without even opening it? Or, like me, do they love to see that drooly, smiling face every morning? When it comes to photos and sharing, how much is too much?

I know there is no set definition or answer to that question. I know no one will tell me that they don’t want any more pictures of Bella. I also know no one has enthusiastically said “send more, I don’t get enough.” So, I will err on the side of assuming I am sending the PERFECT amount of Bella-Spam until I am told otherwise. With that… Hey Bella, say CHEESE !

Posted in Bella-isms, Rookie Behavior | 4 Comments »

Feeling Neglected

October 24, 2011 by jbrafman

Louie is our 9.5 year old Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier.  He is possibly the most loving, soft, gentle dog on this planet!  He sleeps in our bed and is quite a pampered pooch.  Louie is always treated like a family member, he’s our child and my parents’ grand-dog.   For anyone that knows me can attest to the strength of the love that I feel for my furry friend.  Louie has been the object of all our attention, frequent Facebook photos, visits with Santa, days at the doggie spa, sleepovers at my mom’s house and long walks to the beach.  That was BEFORE BELLA.

When I was pregnant, Keith and I talked a lot about how we thought Louie would adjust to the baby and how we could best ease the transition for him.  We decided to try to help him get acquainted with her by bringing one of Bella’s hospital blankets home before her actual arrival.  It was so precious when he curled up and went to sleep on top of it.  When she first came home he would approach her with vague curiosity and try to lick her toes while she was eating, but 4 months later, they mostly ignore each other.  I can’t even get a picture of the two of them together, because I think Louie is somewhat scared of Bella, especially when she cries.  If I even put her on the same couch with him, he runs away.

So I feel awful when I think that my original true love, my pet, would feel anything other than the deepest love that I have always had for him.  But, I have to admit that between Bella, Keith, going back to work, exercise, family and friends, Louie has taken a temporary backseat.  He gets walked less often, he gets less snuggle time and sometimes we even realize we’ve forgotten to feed him.  Don’t go calling the Humane Society just yet.  We do feed him.  It just might be Brunch or Dunch, not exaclty breakfast. 

He, however, is not standing idle and letting this lack of attention go unnoticed.  He has started “acting out.”  He’s been pooping in the house on occasion, he also chews his feet, which is the doggie form of nail-biting.  But, his latest “look at me” definitely got my attention.  While we were having a quiet family dinner together one night, he snuck off and chewed one of my new JCrew ballet flats.  Not both, just one.  JERK.   Does he not know by now that you do NOT mess with a girl’s SHOES !

Dear Louie, mommy got the message.  We do love you with all our hearts!  You are our first child, our son, albeit a fuzzy four-legged one.  We will make a concerted effort to spend more quality time with you and make sure you are included in everything we do.  You will have a best friend in Bella some day, when she is old enough to understand you.  But, stay away from mommy’s shoes or you will be placed on EBay.  XO!

Louie and Bella's Blanket

Posted in Juggling it All | 1 Comment »

We have become “THOSE” people!

October 21, 2011 by jbrafman

US at the Happiest Place on Earth

“BB”, which is affectionately known as “Before Bella“, Keith and I would be out places and wonder “WHY ON EARTH would someone bring a newborn to Disney World?” or perhaps “WHY ON EARTH do those people have that young child out with them at a fancy restaurant – haven’t they heard of babysitters?” or even “WHY ON EARTH would our friends have to cancel on a fun night out and blame it on babysitter issues?”  This week, we confirmed it… We have become THOSE PEOPLE!

This past weekend, we took Bella to Disney World and brought her onto It’s a Small World.  She absolutely loved it.  All the colors, the brightly painted dolls and figurines and all the movement.  At least I think she loved it.  She was definitely smiling… Or pooping… But, either way, WE enjoyed the experience WITH her.  Seeing her curiously staring at all the new things was just so precious. I took a ton of pictures to capture the memory (probably completely annoying to the people on the ride in the row behind us, but whatever).  So, yes, we are “those” people.. and now I kind of understand why.

After spending the full day at the theme park, we decided to go out and get some “real” food at one of the fancy restaurants on Disney property.  Bella was sleeping in her stroller, so we moved one of the chairs away from the table and parked her on one side.  It was probably 10:30pm before we were done eating.  We got several sneery looks from people in the restaurant.  You know they were thinking  1)  that baby better not cry and 2) thank god those people didn’t sit next to us!   Our angel was perfect, slept all the way through dinner without a peep.  We were out-of-town, had no nanny and we were HUNGRY.  So, we took her.  Apparently we have become “those” people, too.

On to tonight.  All of our friends are going to a Halloween costume party, adults only, no kids.  A really, really fun costume party that we will be missing.  Why?  Because we do NOT have a babysitter.  I always thought it was a cop-out when friends would use that excuse.  I also always told them to duct-tape their kids to a chair and come anyway, but, that’s “BB” also.  I now realize that we have finally, fully become THOSE people.  The ones that have to sit home on the couch, babysitter-less, while their friends have fun without them.  We will have a wonderful, quiet night at home.  Me, Bella, Keith and Louie.  We love each other’s company.  Plus, we have another party tomorrow night… and we HAVE a babysitter !

Posted in Bella-isms, Firsts | 2 Comments »

Why am I awake ?

October 19, 2011 by jbrafman

At least someone was able to sleep.

This was my first night away from Bella since the day she was born.  If I thought having her sleep in her own room all the way down the hall was difficult for me, this topped that tenfold!  However, I was somewhat excited for a long, uninterrupted night of sleep, of which I have been deprived for months.

I travelled to Atlanta yesterday afternoon.  I recently took on a new, exciting role at work and I came to meet with my new team.  Part social and teambuilding, but mostly WORK.  Last night, we all went to dinner and then bowling.  I had planned to duck out after dinner and go nitey nite EARLY – hello snorefest!  Plus, I suck at bowling.  But, the “right” thing for me to do was hang with my new team.  So, I bowled.  I scored a whopping 95, but it was a really fun time and good distraction from missing my family. 

Keith, who had Bella on HIS OWN for the first time, gave me periodic progress reports and texted me this picture.  How he was able to text me, hold the baby, hold the remote and eat with just two hands is amazing.  Talented man – That’s why I married him!  He, however, did not marry me for my bowling prowess!  Confirmation of what I already knew:  Keith and Bella are a wonderful team… They ordered pizza, watched hockey, took a bath and went to sleep – all uneventful daddy/daughter time.  Such a good girl!  And at 5:00am, I got another text saying she was still sleeping.  Simply amazing.

So, with the complete and utter quiet in my dark hotel room and “heavenly bed,” why can’t I sleep ?  This is MY opportunity to catch up on that coveted sleep I have needed.  But, I have been awake on and off all night.  I miss my people, that’s why.  I love my little nighttime routine with them.  I love listening to her little noises all night long.  I love the little baby kisses and the daddy kisses before bed.  It soothes me.  Thank goodness I will be home tonight for some SLEEP!

Posted in Firsts, Juggling it All, Missing My Baby | 1 Comment »

First Night in the Big Girl Crib.. epic Success!

October 17, 2011 by jbrafman

First Night in MY OWN room

Perhaps epic is a slight exaggeration, but it was a huge leap forward in Bella’s plan to move out of our bedroom and into her own.  As I have stated before, she’s only 4 months old, so I really don’t mind her sleeping in our bedroom.  Within arms reach.  Where I can hold her pacifier for her.  And I can hear her breathing.  She NEEDS her mommy!   Apparently this change will be traumatic for BOTH of us.  But, Dr. Amy said if we didn’t start this transition process now, it would become infinitely harder the longer we wait.  She also said it should only take 3 days, which is great because I am not the most patient person on this planet.  So, on my birthday and at the close of a fun Disney weekend, we decided to give it the “old college try.”

After bathtime and a yummy bottle, we carried our sleeping beauty upstairs to her room and gently placed her in her crib.  She looked so tiny and alone in there, it made my heart sink.  Keith and I gave her a bunch of kisses and some quiet encouragement and walked gingerly out of her dark bedroom to our own.  I couldn’t help but start to cry at the thought of my precious peanut down the hall all by herself.  I also couldn’t keep my eyes off the baby monitor to see how she was doing.  We even bought the fancy one with night vision!  But we did not need the monitor to hear her when she started crying about 45 minutes after going to bed.  It was a loud, gut-wrenching cry and we had to show major restraint to keep from swooping in to soothe and cuddle her.  I even had to pull the bed covers over my head, otherwise, I would have caved in!  Bella cried for 20 LONG, awful minutes and then fell back to sleep.  At first, the sudden silence scared me, but after confirming she was ok (my hand on a moving set of ribs), I went back to bed.  She repeated this cycle about 3 more times, each crying period shorter and shorter.  We made it all the way from midnight to 8am!!  Keith and I barely slept and are exhausted today, but we held our ground and did not bring her back into our bedroom.

I know this is all part of “the process,” but listening to her cry is simply heartbreaking.  I don’t want our daughter to ever feel scared, ever feel alone or ever think mommy and daddy wouldn’t do everything in the world to make her boo-boos go away!   This is only going to take 3 days.  That’s what I keep telling myself.  I guess you will have to ask me in a few days where Bella is sleeping!

Posted in Firsts | Leave a Comment »

We’re going to Disney World!

October 13, 2011 by jbrafman

I have lived in Florida on and off (mostly on) since I was in elementary school.  Like most other Floridians, Disney World has always been a huge part of my life.  I remember fondly when my dad took me, with my friend Harper, to Magic Kingdom and we wanted to ride the Mad Tea Party (those cups that SPIN) over and over.  After tiring of the “round and round” by ride #3, my dad asked a sailor in uniform, if he would mind spinning the wheel for his two little girls.  Said sailor obliged and proceeded to spin us as fast as he could, the centrifugal force pinning our little bodies to the sides of the teacup as we squealed with glee!  That is, until the ride stopped, but our brains kept spinning.  Several cotton candy pukes later, we all decided it was time to head back to the hotel to nap it off. 

My annual company trip to Disney World is this weekend and for me it will have new significance.  It will take me down memory lane, but I will also be creating new memories of this special place with Keith and Bella, as a family.  We are staying at the Contemporary, which was always a

6 months pregnant - Bella's still on the INSIDE during THIS trip.

favorite when I was a kid and more recently where my mom and I stayed when I raced in the Disney/Danskin triathlon.  We will take Bella to Magic Kingdom and track down Mickey to get the coveted picture of her with The Mouse!  We will ride It’s a Small World, because there are very few “rides” a 4-month old can ride, but THAT is one of them!  We will buy Bella the quintessential mouse ears with her name embroidered on them, JUST BECAUSE.  And finally, at the end of the day, we will watch the fireworks over Cinderella’s castle and take in the whole Disney experience.

I know it is early in Bella’s life to take her to Disney, and if it wasn’t for my company trip, we probably wouldn’t.  Most people think we are crazy, since she won’t remember a thing anyway.  BUT, I am really looking forward to sharing this part of my history and this little piece of “happy” with our Princess.  We will be taking lots of pictures to show her someday!

However, we will be keeping the tea cups and the sailors away from her… For now…

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Baby Farts… Are Cute !

October 11, 2011 by jbrafman

When we were in the hospital for the few days after Bella’s birth, they gave us a special formula for “gassy and fussy” babies.  At first, I was a little insulted, as I thought “they don’t even know Bella, how would they know if she was fussy OR gassy.”  Apparently, (new moms listen up), two things are true:  1)  hospitals are given formula by a manufacturer for marketing purposes and that becomes the formula that ALL babies get and 2)  ALL babies really are fussy AND gassy !

The nurses taught us to burp Bella midway through the bottles, so she didn’t get too much accumulation of air in her belly.  And, obviously, the gas only has two directions to go – UP or DOWN.  She would let loose these monster burps that would make any beer-drinking-frat-boy proud!  We always assumed we did a good job of ridding our precious little Princess of her “gas”…  Apparently NOT.  It is AMAZING the noises that come out of both ends of this teeny tiny little girl.  She even out-farts the dog !  Most of the time she smiles or giggles afterwards or looks quizzically, like “did that really come from me ?”  (nice work, practicing her cover-ups for the future).  Everywhere we go, if people hear our musical child let something loose, they giggle and think she’s adorable.  If an adult person made these same sounds in public, people would look in horror and disgust. 

So, I guess baby farts really are CUTE.  But, at what age do you think it goes from adorable to horrible to be fussy and gassy ?

Posted in Bella-isms | 1 Comment »

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