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Separation Anxiety – Thanks, Dr. Amy!

October 10, 2011 by jbrafman

Today was Bella’s 4 month checkup.  I feel like it’s been so long since we had “Bella Stats” and I really look forward to seeing our baby’s progress.  When I was pregnant, we were checked all the time (they DO that to OLD moms).  When Bella first arrived, we were checked all the time (they DO that to SKINNY, EARLY babies).  I love seeing her grow.  But, we hadn’t been to the doctor since our 2 month visit and I was dying to see how my little chicken was measuring up.  

Dr. Amy asked HOW Bella has been sleeping and proudly, I told her she is “sleeping 8-9 hours each night.” As noted in my previous post, Bella is a good sleeper.  Yes, I brag, because I am actually getting decent nights sleep, too.  However, the only caveat is that her favorite place to sleep is her pink Fisher Price napper, right next to our bed.  It’s small, cozy and it even rocks.  And of course See-Hee The Seahorse can be velcro’d to the side.  We have been trying to wean her of the napper for weeks, (it has a weight limit) to no real avail.  We have several other sleep options in the room, too:  a cute bassinet on my side of the bed and an antique cradle on Keith’s side of the bed (thanks Kimmy!).  Our Master Bedroom looks like the Baby Bedding section in BabiesRUs exploded in it!!

We put Bella in the cradle or the bassinet at the start of a night, but we have yet to really make it through a whole night without slow grunts that turn to little cries and grow to a steady wail.  I admit, I am a softie, I can’t take it, I feel like she’s going to pass out from crying!  I pick her up from her alternate sleeping location, tuck her back into her “happy place” in her napper and Zzzzzzz!  Hard to argue with what works.

I digress…. Back to Dr. Amy.  She then asked us WHERE Bella was sleeping.  But, when I told her about all the locations, she asked why she wasn’t sleeping in her crib.  Well, DUH, Dr. Amy, because it is in the OTHER ROOM.  Really ?  She expects a 4-month old baby to sleep by herself ?  Actually, YES.  She told us we have to start now or it would just get progressively harder.  She said to let her cry, but only for 30 minutes.  Dr. Amy seems to think the transition would only take a couple of days.  But, but, but.. Doesn’t Bella need ME waking up to look at her, to make sure she is breathing, to make sure she isn’t too cold?

I feel like this is a HUGE milestone.  I barely even remember all of the beloved statistics I was looking for at this visit.  My ears were ringing and all I could hear over and over was “the OTHER ROOM”.  I don’t know who is going to have a harder time with this… Bella or ME?  Yes, I admit, it will be me.  Maybe we should wait to try this until next week… Or maybe when Bella’s 12 !

Posted in Missing My Baby, Sleeping | Leave a Comment »

Old McBelly’s Farm

October 9, 2011 by jbrafman

They say babies are creatures of habit (I guess they don’t “come” with lots of pre-programming) and that routines make them feel secure and comfortable. We decided that we would make bathtime FUN, and add a little ritual/routine and a little goofiness and there you have it!

I was completely grossed out when the doctor told me that the baby only needed a bath once a week (see previous post about me being a clean freak). I mean, this is a creature that pees and poops into a diaper and sits in it. She gets formula and drool all over her face, chest and neck. She licks her hands and has about a sockful of lint between her toes. She doesn’t need a bath more than once a week ? I think not.

We bathe daily. In the kitchen sink. In a wonderful little foam tub that forms a cone around Bella. We tried the standalone hard tub on the counter and she hated it. No warm running water for my Princess = squeals of misery, rather than joy. I use organic soaps, without artificial numbing agents (which is how all the OTHER shampoos are no-tears) and I cover her with warm, wet washcloths so she doesn’t get cold. About 50% of the time, she’s sleeping halfway through the bath!

But the real fun starts after we pull her out of the bath. Daddy and mommy dry the wet chicken, like she’s a car coming out of a hand-carwash. Lots of towels! And we make sure to get every Little Piggy, including her special baby toe, which curls under when she scrunches her toes! Then comes daddy’s all over body massage (for Bella, not daddy… He could only wish!). He rubs her, stretches her and she loves every minute of it!! She will clearly be a spa-goer when she’s older. And last, our favorite part, we sing Old McBelly’s Farm (our rendition of Old McDonald). This is the goofy adult part. We do 4 verses, the last one is always a chicken. But the remainder, we get creative and make up all sorts of crazy sounds for animals. In addition to “normal” farm animals, McBelly’s farm has had snakes, llamas, penguins, moose, elephant and even monkeys. Her favorites lately, that get BIG smiles are the snake and the duck. Surefire wide open, toothless grins with those two!

And bathtime is made so much more special when we share it. All of Bella’s grandparents and aunts/uncles have participated. And also a cousin or two. Everyone is encouraged to sing along and act silly, hoping to be rewarded with her sweet smile. We make all guests pick an animal, so if you are coming for bathtime don’t show up without one! And if you participate “virtually”, we do take email requests!

Wash, rinse, dry, massage, sing, smile, REPEAT !!

Posted in Routine and Rituals | Leave a Comment »

Mommy Brain

October 7, 2011 by jbrafman

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People warned me that I would get forgetful during my pregnancy and the first few months of Bella’s life. A term THEY refer to as “mommy brain”. Being the consummate professional, bordering on obsessively organized, I thought there was no way that could happen to me. I mean, is it chemical? Is it exhaustion? Or is it just an excuse?

I can attest it is not urban legend! My personal belief is that it’s caused by a combination of exhaustion and distraction. You have so many new things to focus on and learn that you tend to do strange things or become forgetful. My first experience was when I was walking Louie (the dog) and had the full poop bag in one hand and the cell phone in the other. I’m sure you see where this is going… Of course, I threw away my cell phone in the dumpster !! It was like slow motion playback as I realized I still had the poop bag in my hand and succumbed to the thought of the dumpster dive that was in my near future to save my beloved Blackberry.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve since found myself putting empty Tupperware in the fridge instead of the cabinet, pausing to make sure I’m taking MY thyroid medicine in the morning and not the dog’s (who knew we would end up on the same medicine?) and putting the formula bottle in the warmer and not turning it on. Mostly harmless, but makes me feel like a complete airhead!

My latest Mommy Brain act was just yesterday. I got everyone ready in the morning (dog walked and fed, bottles filled, laundry put into the dryer, Bella changed and fed) and ran out the door for work. When I got there, I looked in the mirror and realized I had forgotten to brush my hair and put makeup on. I give up ! Who needs it anyway? I’m embracing my distraction, I loved being distracted by Bella, Keith and Louie in the mornings!

Hopefully someday I will get my Adult Brain back! If you see me without makeup or doing something silly, please just laugh with me!

Posted in Juggling it All | Leave a Comment »

She Drools !

October 6, 2011 by jbrafman

I will preface this post with some background about me.  I am a clean freak, somewhat germaphobic actually.  I don’t like dogs that shed or slobber and I cringe at the thought of a child’s snotty nose or baby vomit.  Very maternal and loving, right ?

So, when Bella came home from the hospital, I was proud to say, my daughter measured “DRY” on the Drool Meter.  Needless to say, I was thrilled!  Or did I speak too soon ?  Bella also had an immature esophagus, which means the process of clamping down and keeping food INSIDE her belly was a little weak (very common for a baby born 3 weeks early).  We began to get daily milk showers after a meal.  Keith and I refer to them affectionately as “wardrobe malfunctions”, because inevitably one of us AND Bella would end up naked. running through the house with the baby after shedding milk-filled clothing !  I guess when it’s your own kid, it’s not AS gag-worthy, but it’s still stinky and pretty gross.  I’m learning.

Fast forward a few months and my big girl’s esophagus is fully functional!  Such a proud moment for me. HA !  But, that was NOT the end of the DROOL !!!!   For such a little, delicate girl, who looks like a china doll, it amazes me that she is capable of producing almost as much drool as a Saint Bernard on a hot summer day.  She and her clothing are constantly drenched.  Our nanny says she is teething..  and “excessive drool” IS a symptom (according to Dr. Internet).  But, how would I really know if she is teething until I  actually see a tooth ?  I read on BabyCenter about “tooth buds” under the gumline.  I can barely see to put makeup on, much less see if there is an infinitely small white bump BELOW her gums while her big tongue is in my way, constantly trying to lick me!!  I’ll take their word..  And it’s good to know this is a temporary condition, otherwise someday she will have a hard time getting a date! 

I have actually learned to LOVE Bella’s drool, because it’s HERS.  It’s soft and doesn’t smell.  I love kissing her on her pretty little shiny wet lips!  Children apparently get all of their baby teeth by the time they are 2 years old.  So, here’s a toast to 2 more years of teething and baby drool !

Posted in Bella-isms | Leave a Comment »

The Seahorse and the Sheep

October 5, 2011 by jbrafman

For those of you who are new parents, you will learn that you will do WHATEVER it takes to get your baby to sleep during nap time and through the night !!  We actually discovered our beloved sleep aids completely by accident….

A dear family friend bought Bella a pink seahorse, whose tummy lights up and plays music.  We almost returned it, since she got so many toys as gifts..  But, before “See-Hee” (once you name it, you own it) was sent ot the ToysRUS glue factory (the return pile), Keith pressed its stomach.  The music completely mesmerized Bella!!  So, almost immediately, See-Hee became our constant companion any time we needed the little one to stay calm and drift off to sleep.  PROBLEM IS, that See-Hee ALSO mesmerized Louie (our wheaten terrier).  And one day when we were out, Louie decided it was time to remove See-Hee’s appendix.  Now, our ONE sleep aid had a gaping, jagged hole in its belly so BIG, even duct tape or Dr. McDreamy couldn’t fix it !  So, off I go to ToysRUS Stat !!!  And instead of returning the charming pink seahorse, I bought A SECOND ONE !  See-Hee #2 reported for duty immediately !  His only downside is that he only plays for 5 minutes at a time.  So, there’s a whole lot of seahorse-belly-squeezing going on at our house !!!

Once we realized our precious Princess liked “sounds” to put her to sleep, and given See-Hee #2’s time limitations, we found another “noise” toy at Pottery Barn Kids, called a Sleep Sheep.  This thing is amazing!!  It runs for either 23 or 45 minutes (weird time choices, right ?).  It plays 4 different nature sounds, although Bella likes the STREAM the best.  She’s obviously a water girl, like her mommy and daddy.  And yes, we have 2 SHEEP in the family now, too.  We figured it couldn’t hurt to have one upstairs and one in her carseat for walks and car rides.  These sheep go EVERYWHERE with us, so if the sound of water makes you have to go to the bathroom, don’t get near Bella, because inevitably, she will have her sheep on her !

At night, when we all go to sleep, we have Sheep playing water sounds and the seahorse playing music ..  It’s a regular baby symphony !!   Hopefully, all these sounds won’t make Bella a light sleeper when she grows up, otherwise, See-Hee or her sheep may end up going to sleepovers and then college with her !! 

Bottom line, find what works and STICK WITH IT… and if you have a dog, buy TWO !

Posted in Tools of the Trade | 1 Comment »

Going Back to Work

October 4, 2011 by jbrafman

About 3 weeks ago, my maternity leave ended..  Eeeek !

I had such grand plans for what I was going to do with all my “free time” during those 3 long months off.  Since Keith can work remotely from anywhere, I told him I thought we should spend 1 month in the Keys with our boat and 1 month in the mountains of North Carolina with my dad/stepmother (live there permanently) and my mom/stepfather (summer there).  HAHAHAHA !!!  Apparently no one informed me that none of that is really compatible with a newborn..  Especially a newborn that cries unless she is sleeping. 

So, I made the best of it and became a “crappy tv aficionado”.  I spent countless hours in our house, on the couch, and walking the neighborhood with Bella.  We became BEYOND close and I loved every last-minute… But, the problem is that as soon as I considered her “easy”, those DARN 3 months were almost up.  I was home for the HARD part, the NO SLEEPING PART.  But, now that she is a party girl, going to dinner and for visits to people’s houses, I have to return to the world of the working.  I really think I should lobby for maternity leave to be month 1 and then months 5 and 6.  THE BEST of both worlds, I would think.

But, what I was least prepared for was the separation issues I was going to have as part of going back to work and also how my priorities would have changed.  I am the consummate professional.  The working woman.  The ladder climber.  But, when the day came and I had to put makeup on, blow dry my hair and wear real clothing and go back to my work life, I could do nothing but cry.  That little person who was staring at me with innocent, beautiful eyes has changed my life and my priorities forever.  Now, each day I am excited when our nanny sends me a video of something Bella does.  I long for the text with pictures of her smiling, sitting on her daddy’s lap.  We even do FaceTime, so I can hear her giggle (well, that’s what we call our 3.5 month old’s squeals!!). 

When our nanny told me that Bella rolled over earlier last month, I was ecstatic !  But, then a quick sadness washed over me that I missed that tiny little milestone in her life.  I know I can’t be there for everything, but these early “firsts” are hard to miss. 

I am thrilled that my company allows me to work from home every now and then.  It really helps.  Especially since I have enrolled Bella in Mommy Boot Camp, because I don’t want to miss the next Rollover !

Posted in Missing My Baby | 1 Comment »

Hello Bella, Nice to Meet YOU !

October 3, 2011 by jbrafman

I am so excited to start writing!! Every day since we brought Bella home from the hospital I have thought that I wanted to record all the interesting things I have learned, the funny things she does and exactly how it is being a new mommy… The great, the good and the gooey! So, prepare to laugh as we share our lives with everyone out there in webland!

Posted in Bella-isms | 1 Comment »

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